The title of this post is shamelessly stolen from Tim Keller, a writer, thinker and pastor I've been amen-ing over the past year since I discovered his books. His eponymous talk fueled our own inner fire for urban living. With young children in the mix and the conventional wisdom of many friends and relatives, one might be wary of living in a large urban center. If you're curious about living in a big city with kids or considering it (or just wondering why we would leave "the perfect place to raise kids"), listen to Keller's talk.
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| On the metro in Montreal, April 2012. He insisted on "holding on." |
If you prefer print, his wife Kathy's thoughts on "Why the City is Wonderful Place to Raise Children" offer some practical considerations.
For those who might not take the time to click on the link above, a few handy hints (these examples are specifically from NYC, but many have already applied to our life in Germany):
Reasons to Love City Living
Money Savers You May Not Have Considered
- no car purchase + insurance + parking + gas + repairs
- many free cultural events (e.g., Shakespeare, Philharmonic in the Park), not just amateur performers
- avoid the many hidden costs of house ownership (to be set against the higher cost of city housing in some places)
Savings of Time and Money
- subway
- no house repairs
- no lawn and garden care
- no auto maintenance
Lifestyle Benefits
- simplicity more possible---you collect less stuff in small apartments
- immediate family is closer physically, harder for kids to isolate themselves; meals together more likely
- apt cleaning/care is easier, less time-consuming than a house
- you don't spend all your free time on house/yard chores
- no scraping off your car in icy weather---enjoy walking in the snow instead
- no school snow days---the subway is always working
- sense of community, bonding, in your immediate neighborhood
- for new parents, especially stay-at-home moms, you don't experience the isolation and despair of being stuck at home all day, unable to go out or even see another adult person---just a trip to the laundry room gives you someone to talk to, and a stroll outside brings you to the world
- many large American cities have something like Fresh Direct: order your groceries online and have them delivered the next day, boxed, to your kitchen; great if you are sick or time pressured
- fresh fruit and cheap flowers at corner stands rival expensive shops elsewhere
- great food in every restaurant---no bad meals
Kids
- less peer pressure; great diversity of interests and skills in every school cancels the need to fit into a mold
- diversity of friends and classmates makes them comfortable anywhere in the world later on
- babysitters within walking distance or travel on own---no driving them home late at night
- babysitting less expensive with neighborhood co-op
- kids' friends often within walking distance, or meet at playground; no carpooling
- easy access to cultural enrichment activities (music, art, drama, parks)
- you do things with your kids, rather than sending them out to play in the yard
- teens don't need a car
- teens aren't riding with other teens who may be reckless, drunk, or newly minted drivers
- navigating the city makes them resourceful---not going to be unnerved anywhere else
- kids as young as 11 years old can take themselves to their own dental and allergist appointments, music lessons, playdates
- if you pray and talk frankly in front of your children about your fears and challenges regarding church planting, and your kids see you deriving the strength to go on with it from God, you will be a hero to your children, one who practices what he preaches
- you are able to process the sinfulness of the world, which is up close and visible in the city, with your children; they aren't shielded from it until just as they are leaving home and you are no longer as much an influence in their lives.
- BEST REASON TO RAISE KIDS IN THE CITY: they see young, hip, urban Christians in the church, new believers who have been there and done that and find Christ better than all of it; these young believers are role models that parents can never be---no kid wants to grow up to be their parents; but the artists, musicians, politicians, and others they find in the urban church are a huge aid to making Christianity plausible to kids
- sin is more visible and salvation more plausible in the city
General
- airline prices are cheaper to/from larger cities; fewer transfers
- closer to ministry opportunities, especially diverse groups, the poor, ethnic communities (instead of traveling many miles to reach a people group); virtually all people groups are in the city, especially Africans, Russians, and South Americans
- less expensive for getaways; can travel by subway to a new neighborhood or a cultural enclave for a change of pace; so many unique experiences close at hand
- wealthy people in cities are always happy to lend their vacation homes to ministry families for weekends and getaways, as long as you are flexible; since ministry happens on weekends, mid-week getaways don't generally conflict with the owners' desire to use it on weekends
- easier to reach the suburbs from the city center than to reach the city center from the suburbs
- access to the best of the best in: professional sports, cultural interests (museums, lectures), entertainment (theatre, music, improv), educational opportunities/options, shopping, influencers in every field, restaurants, medical care
