I spend most of my weekdays alone at home working in the mornings, or alone at home with my kids in the afternoons. Beyond the quick chats with other parents and caregivers at Kindergarten, or the occasional afternoon play date, I sometimes do not talk to another adult until my husband comes home in the evening. Social media can give you the feeling of being connected to the outside world, but it is very shallow communication. Very rarely are we honest and authentic online. We do not bare our souls or ask our big questions (nor perhaps should we!). A "like" or re-tweet will never replace a friend's hug or someone looking into your eyes and truly seeing you.
As an introvert, I need time to recover after a full day or two of being with people. I need time to process, journal, contemplate things I have heard, seen, experienced. After a busy day I lay in bed thinking, no matter how tired I am, until my mind whirs to a stop. I can feel alone in a crowd, I find small-talk difficult and when things get awkward or difficult my default mode is to flee.
But I also desperately need people.
Those of us contemplative types can just get lost in our own heads, analyzing, and debating, praying and seeking, but perhaps we are just too close to see the full picture, blind to our blind spots.
This past week, feeling weighed down, confused, and discouraged, a friend spoke the words I needed to hear and prayed for me the conviction that was already pressing in on my heart. On my one day at the university, I ran into a colleague who encouraged, gave perspective, and showed me light at the end of the dissertation tunnel. Then my half-a-world-away sister gave me practical help proofreading some documents via email, improving my work with her talent and skills. I was so much the better for them; my spirit calmer, my mind sharper, my heart happier, thanks to them.
I felt my iron getting sharpened.
Oh, how we need each other. I am learning that even the most put-together, successful-seeming person deals with bouts of self-doubt, insecurity, discouragement. All the people you are intimidated of may just as well be intimidated of you. Every woman I know struggles at times with feeling alone, feeling like her friends never call, that she is the only one who is left out.
Let's be the first to love, to pick up the phone, to encourage, to stop and see someone and listen. Let's ask for help when we need it, let's be vulnerable with friends or family or pastoral leaders close to us, show them who we are. Let's be present where we are now, sharpening each other.
