Baby jet lag

Baby jet lag has to be the worst kind of jet lag.

There is no reasoning with her. There is no keeping a baby up til an appropriate time to sleep...her head just nestles into my chest, no matter where, no matter when, no matter how bright or loud and she is asleep. This past week since we got home from visiting my family in Ontario and friends in Montreal has been rough: way too little sleep, mommy back to work, planning and enjoying our 3 year old man's birthday with a house full of friends, preparing for both kids to start Kindergarten and Krippe (day care in Germany for ages 1-3) in the coming weeks. My husband is now away for the weekend at an important family event 1000km away in Flensburg.

Baby up one night baking her brother's birthday cake
with Papa. Yup, you read that clock right.

I managed to get both kids to sleep before 9 p.m. tonight, the closest to normal this household has been for the past 8 nights. Jet lag, both the adult and baby versions, have kept me up much of the night this past week. It has sometimes felt unbearable, entertaining a child who is wide awake when the parents are just aching for sleep, but at times we have loved those sweet midnight hours, allowing for heart-to-heart talks in the quiet of moonlight and a nocturnal writing session to pour out the too busy thoughts.

We have big decisions ahead of us, ideas, passions, responsibilities, plans whirling in and out. Lying down next to my baby to keep her from crawling and practising her standing skills all night forces not only her but also me to breathe deeply. To still and calm our nervous muscles, our busy minds. Not to jump up and get on with to-dos and cleaning and emails. Waiting for her to calm, to breathe rhythmically. To pray for her in whispers, for all of us. Speak out truth and quiet the doubts and fears.