The nudge came while on a walk after a particularly stimulating Sunday in church back in November (2012). Start a blog to force me to write regularly and - if I'm brave enough - actually tell people about it. I always wanted to be a writer, writing reams and reams of stories when I was a child, easily maxing out the 100 points we had to earn for Writer's Workshop at school. (I wrote 20+ page stories for about 40 points while some classmates wrote "advertisements" and "recipes" repeatedly for 5 points a pop. Chacun son goût.) My favourite character on The West Wing (best TV show of all time) was Sam Seaborn, speechwriter to the President, a secret fantasy career of mine. I'll admit it: I actually settled on Political Science as one of my two majors in my first year at university because of an episode of the West Wing. (Perhaps not surprising that basing your choice of career on an idealized Hollywood television program is not setting you up for a win. Although I still love following politics, just not mathematically analyzing them.)
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| A pic of Sam Seaborn. Why not? |
It seems logical from that summary of my childhood passion for writing (and reading British classics my brother brought home from uni) that I should study literature, however I came to do my Ph.D. in literature in a roundabout way. I've been writing and proofreading scholarly articles and books for years, but it feels good to have another outlet for other thoughts.
The idea of blogging freaked me out in several ways. I started reading a few blogs in the winter of 2010-11, after our first child was born and I found myself at home, breastfeeding and holding the baby for long periods, but with my mind free to roam and also a loneliness from being at home so much. (It is no mystery why so-called mommy blogs are so popular/prolific. Moms of babies and toddlers are desperate for contact with the outside world and mind-food.) I found several blogs that I loved, and which gave me new ideas about all range of matters. But the whole mommy-blog scene, and the often negative-critical-soapbox-Christian-opinion-blogs in North America made me very hesitant to start one of my own. Among my friends in Germany, few read blogs and I don't think anyone I know has one.
Another thing that freaked me out was sharing my life, my thoughts, my quivering, vulnerable creative efforts, openly and publicly with the Whole Wide World. Even scarier, showing it to people who actually know me. (At first I didn't post it on FB for fear that everyone I know might read it.) The possibility that your in-laws or your neighbour or your boss could read it are legitimate threats. Which adds to the thrill, the bravery required and the honesty. So far, I'm loving it. It totally scares me still, but a month of blogging is already stirring up more creativity in me than the intervening 13 years since OAC Writer's Craft. And so far, it's a lot of fun.
I didn't actually act on the nudge to start this blog until 7 months later, as is obvious from the links to previous posts over there --->. There were more nudges and prompts, so I finally just threw myself into it, screw the terrible layout and colour scheme. (Help me, please, designer and programmer friends!) I just want to write. To fan into flame the gifts within me. To throw my shoulders back, look you in the eye and declare: I am a writer.
A day after I started, my husband reminded me that I actually had a blog before. I had totally forgotten this fact. How bizarre, to totally blank out on something of that nature. I was tickled to discover this blog still exists online! So if anyone wants to read the (sometimes hilarious, sometimes embarrassing) musings of a much younger me about my early days of living in Germany and adjusting to life here, go to JoyIsMyMiddleName.
