On Soul Friends and driving 3 hours to give up your bedroom

There's something special about the friendships forged in your early 20s, in those formative adult years when you are discovering who you are apart from your parents and siblings and hometown. When you actually start to choose your friends, rather then being semi-forced into friendships with those who happen to be in your school class, or live on your street, or the children of your parents' friends.

An old friend is going to drive 1.5 hours to pick us up from the airport in Toronto on Friday evening, then take us the 1.5 hours back to his home where he and his wife are going to give up their bedroom to hunker down with their 2 tots so we can crash with them for 2 nights. (Oh, and did I mention the jet-lagged baby and unpredictable almost-3-year-old we're bringing along? Saints is what these people are.) 

I lived in the same residence (Canadian-speak for "dorm") with Jayden for our first two years of university at Vic. Since then we have kept in touch sporadically, my husband I visited him a few times on our returns to Ontario, we were thrilled to meet his lovely wife Amie when she came along. (She's an amazing photographer, check her out! Shameless plug.) We four have seen each other only once or twice over the past 4 years, but manage to have deep soul chats when we do, encouraging and speaking life over each other. Some call these kinds of friends "a friend to your destiny."

The ivy-covered walls of our residence building and dining hall at Vic

I have lately been amazed at the close bond I still feel with old friends my 18-23-year-old self ma de back in university and during my first travels in Europe. Even though we only spent a short time together (3 months at Tauernhof or in Greece in some cases; 1 or 2 years at uni in Toronto or Quebec City with others), somehow we still stay in touch (with a helping hand from social media). There is still a strong level of trust and appreciation; we deeply value each other. You don't stay in touch with everyone, of course, but those with whom your spirit resonates, with whom your heart really connected. There is a bond there that transcends borders and oceans, marriage and kids and a decade. We don't talk often; we may rarely even directly address one another on said social media. But we lurk follow, we keep up, we still care, and when the chance to see one another again comes, we take it and it is like the intervening ten years were only a few months.

From the ages of 18-23 I was very nomadic; I moved every 4-8 months. I lived in numerous cities, apartments, residences, and in a tent on the Îles-de-la-Madeleine for two summers. I met a lot of brilliant people, who I am still honoured to know and rejoice when our paths cross.  

What about you, do you agree that the friendships forged in your young adult years (circa 18-24) were the strongest? Or does it have more to do with being in a life-changing place/formative experience and less to do with age?

Old Vic, across the quad from home during my first two years of university